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Being Joyful
living intently
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4th-Mar-2016 10:22 am(no subject)
sand heart (love)

Last night I dreamed I caught a swarm of bees. They clouded around me, and the queen landed in my hair, large and shining. Wherever I went, they came with me. I held a stick for them, and they built their comb onto it, dripping with wax and honey. It was a dream of happiness and contentment.

13th-Nov-2015 04:41 pm(no subject)
sand heart (love)

when you think that you are having the worst day possible and are busy crying about your sad, pathetic life and then you read about Paris.

5th-Nov-2015 01:17 pm(no subject)
sand heart (love)

I guess the up side of my laptop dying is that I have more time for knitting pretty things.

21st-Jul-2013 05:04 pm - erk.

I stopped posting for one of those, "if you don't have anything nice to say..." things. I started drinking more water. Taking my vitamins. Spending more time in the sunshine. Found some new girlfriends to hang out with. Worked on my relationship with my soon to be husband. Started turning my wedding from plan to reality and in less than a month I will be getting married!


Of course, it is easy to be optimistic in the summer. Winter is coming (ha) and with it, Justin is starting a university transfer program, Eve is starting kindergarten, our income will be slashed into about a quarter of what it is now, and thanks to some nice effing up by revenue Canada we are waiting for a reassessment on our taxes and a refund rather than owe them a nauseating amount of money. For the first time in five years the low income bracket did not rise to compensate for inflation and for the first time it could have benefited us in a major way we were just over the amount and now cannot qualify for any of the grants we had kind of expected to get. Shit. I am in a rock-and-hard-place situation with the kids. Eve will be in school from 8:30 to 2:30 and we can't afford preschool or daycare even if I worked because all the money would just go to child care and we can't get subsidy because we are out of the bracket. Justin will be working part time but that won't be much. We applied for student loans but I am not expecting much from them. Sigh. We will muddle through somehow - we have the majority of our debt behind us now and should have the last of it paid off by September. At least that will be gone.


So, that is kind of what is going on over here. Nothing spectacular but we are alive and well.

27th-Mar-2013 08:39 am - the times, they are a-changin'

So it is spring, and lovely out. Having sun for some of the day almost every day is really helping with my low feelings... I started taking chill pills too, and Justin and I are trying PG-X together to help kickstart weight loss. Our debt load is finally decreasing substantially now that I am earning money talking care of Susan every other week and Justin is starting a university transfer program at North Island College this September in electrical engineering. The wedding is really coming together now, we have concrete plans and bookings. I have to make a trip to Nanaimo in May to pick up my dress and a few things at Michaels. Then it is pretty much sit and wait, I guess.


I am still feeling pretty crummy about myself, but I feel like I can do something about it. I want to learn French and Spanish. I want to find my sexy mysterious feminine side again. Lose weight and stop dressing like a bum. Spend more time outside, which is always easier in the spring. Find things that make me happy again, explore and create. Keep busy.


Stuff like that.

27th-Feb-2013 10:40 pm(no subject)

Where did my confidence go? I used to be independent and sexy and smart. Now I just feel like someone starved for attention always seeking approval. When did I stop doing things for myself? Why? I feel like such a tool and a doormat.

2nd-Jan-2013 04:46 pm - look who is with the times.

Oh hey, lj has a mobile app on Android now that actually does stuff.


I am about 99% sure or bees are dead but it is kind of a Schrodinger's Cat situation since we won't know for sure since we can't open the hive until it warms up in the spring...if we open out now the wax is so brittle that it will pretty much just shatter and destroy any honey that may remain. The hives are covered in some kind of bug, I don't think it is mites but can't tell for sure. I am super sad about this...and mad because Justin didn't take care of the bees like he said he would and none of the hives were winterized like they should have been to prevent the bees from dying of cold and damp. So, that was a complete waste of $600 in bees and another couple hundred in materials for the hives, which are showing signs of damp and mildew. I am screaming, you just can't see it.

11th-Jul-2011 06:55 am(no subject)

caught what justin had and spent all day passed out in bed on gravol. i dont remember ever sleeping an entire day before in my life, it was so odd. now i'm sore from lying down so long. i think i'll take it easy today and watch cartoons with the kids on the couch, let justin have a rest. they sounded like they were extra toddler-y and mischevious for him, isabelle even did some poop art on the deck. poor Justin, i really wish they would have been good for him, he is still so tired and grouchy from being sick himself.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

17th-Jun-2011 01:10 pm - smart phone goodness

updating from my new cell, who knew lj had an app? probably every one but me lol. other than the phone life is settling back to normal after having 16 people in the house. three kids seems so quiet and easy after having six. my uterus is happy to report that the itching has stopped and sanity has returned.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

26th-Aug-2007 01:43 pm - Midwifery training in Alberta!!!
sand heart (love)
Wouldn't this be SO EXCITING???


Mount Royal is gauging interest in a midwifery training program here in Calgary, I cannot even begin to express how excited this news makes me!! Everyone go sign up for their updates or email, inundate them, flood them, make them see that this is EXACTLY what we (I) need!!
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